Calling quits on your marriage and filing for divorce may have been a mutual decision, but it might still be hard to accept seeing your ex find a new significant other. For some, this is particularly painful since they might still harbor some feelings for their exes. Others, meanwhile, see their ex’s new significant other as a threat to their role as a parent.

Whatever the case, you might feel some resentment towards your ex’s new relationship, which shouldn’t be the case if you wish to remain having a cordial relationship for the sake of your children. There are a lot of questions asked by people facing the same situation, and properly dealing with exes with a new boyfriend or girlfriend can be done through these steps.

Don’t Harbor Negative Feelings

For most people, rejecting the thought that your partner has moved on and has found someone else so soon may seem the most natural reaction, especially coming from a long relationship. However, this non-acceptance could only cause a plethora of negative feelings that could lead you to a downward spiral of anger and resentment, making it harder for you to move on. Instead of dwelling on this, however, take this news as a sign that you also need to find someone new, or at least move on from your relationship with your ex.

It also wouldn’t do to compare yourself to your ex’s new partner. Avoid looking at their photos online, or getting news and updates from your friends about them. Simply put, mind your own business—the one wherein your ex is no longer included.

When the New Significant Other is Introduced

Once the relationship between your ex and his or her significant other turns serious, he or she might even introduce their new partner to your children. Before this happens, it’s a good idea to let each other know when you plan on introducing this new person into your children’s lives, or hear from your kids if you still can’t be on good terms with your ex.

Some people might feel threatened by this new person coming into their child’s life for fear that they will take over as mom or dad in the family. To deal with this, ensure your children that your role as a parent wouldn’t end even after the new person is in the picture. You and your ex also have a lot to talk about when this situation arises. When dealing with exes in a relationship, you can seek help from centers like The Bridge Across to set aside your differences and prioritize the welfare of your children.

Sources:

How to deal when he has a new girlfriend, She Knows

Parenting Together Apart: When Your Ex Has a New Significant Other, Momma Said