Some people say that when you marry someone, you also marry his/her family. What happens, however, if you and your partner decide to separate? Does it also mean that you’re also “divorcing” your ex’s family? Is it a good idea to keep in touch with your ex-family? Dealing with exes alone is difficult enough, but when you add the parents and siblings into the picture, things could get confusing and stressful at every turn, so here are a few things to keep in mind:
How was your past relationship with your ex in-laws? If you had a great relationship with them then, perhaps, you shouldn’t let your divorce ruin the friendship. However if your ex in-laws were cold and unfriendly while you were married, or if you never found yourself comfortable around them, then it might be better to not expect your relationship with them to improve anytime soon.
During Rough Times
Faults aside, how your ex in-laws treated you during your near-divorce stage is a good indication of what your relationship with them will be like after divorce. Did they choose to side with your ex, and closed off their relationship with you; or did they take a more neutral stance and listened to both of you? If the latter is true, then it means that they respect you just as much as your ex, and if ever there were problems between you and them, there’s a good chance that you can still smooth it out even after divorce.
You and Your Ex
It might be extremely difficult and almost impossible for some relationships, but by staying friends with your ex you are also keeping the friendship with your ex in-laws open. This might not happen immediately, though.
If you and your ex parted on bad terms, respecting one another will keep your life free from unnecessary stress. Avoid meeting up with his family on occasions where he/she will be around, even if your ex in-laws invite you.
Your Friends, Not Family
Just because you’re staying in touch with them doesn’t mean that your relationship is still the same. Exchanging emails and the occasional lunch catch-ups are great, but don’t intrude on family occasions. Sending a card during Christmas is still a great idea, but joining them for the holidays might not be wise.
Dealing with exes in a relationship is undoubtedly hard and downright stressful at times, but just because you’re having trouble with your ex doesn’t mean you’re also at war with his/her entire family. With help from trusted experts like TheBridgeAcross.com, you might be able to keep some good friends you found during the marriage long after your divorce.
(EX ETIQUETTE – SHOULD YOU REMAIN FRIENDS WITH HIS MOM?, madamenoire.com)
(Staying Friends With An Ex’s Family, yourtango.com)
(Breaking up with your ex’s family, and how to handle it, hellogiggles.com)
(5 Ways To Maintain Healthy Relationships With Your Ex’s Family, divorcedmoms.com)